


Curiosity (Levi x Reader)

by violet_amethyst



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 神撃のバハムート | Shingeki no Bahamut | Rage of Bahamut (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:02:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28927761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violet_amethyst/pseuds/violet_amethyst
Summary: Levi Ackerman is the most intimidating Captain in the Survey Corps, and I wouldn't dare mess around with him. Yet, I mess around with every other higher up, and my fellow cadets, with no shame. One day, Levi finds out, and it peaks his interest why I won't sleep with him.DO NOT REPOST! ESPECIALLY ON WATTPAD!!!
Relationships: Hange Zoë & Reader, Hange Zoë/Reader, Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 450
Kudos: 3680
Collections: Already Read (han80), aot, aot need to read, aot recommend





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first x reader fanfiction. Please be nice, I got this inspiration from @churchofuwus on tik tok. I'll try to update often, but this is what I have so far. I hope you all enjoy! Any comments or requests are gladly taken (as long as they're positive/constructive)! Also, the reader is 18+ since this deals with sexual relationships with Levi, who is in his late 30s- early 40s.

It’s a quiet day, and not much has happened. Training was boring, as usual, and I sat there, picking at my food. Connie clears his throat, forcing me to look up. I immediately straighten my back as I see Levi walking towards us. I gulp, unable to meet his gaze as he approaches. Without saying anything, he nods towards our table before walking away. I sigh a deep breath of relief.   
“Still intimidated by him?” Connie asks with a smirk.   
“Shut up. You are too.” I scowl, lowering my eyes to my plate before sighing. My appetite hadn’t been the greatest in the last couple weeks. Maybe it was because I was overworking myself, or because I had slept with Jean, but either way, I couldn’t eat. So, I just push my plate towards Sasha, who takes it without a question, devouring what’s left on the plate.   
Standing up, I adjust my coat before strutting away from the table, hoping to get in a light nap on this quiet day. Unfortunately, I’m stopped by Hanji, and I immediately remember the fact that I’d slept with them not that long ago. They were surprisingly good in bed, and one of my favorite lays. “L/N! How are you today?” Hanji asks.   
Sweet. I think with a smile forming on my face. Hanji was always a pleasant face to be around, and I quite enjoyed her presence even if many people found her annoying or crazy. “I’m lovely, Commander.”   
“No need to call me commander, y/n!” They say with a smile. They lower their voice and whisper, “After all, we did have a great time.”   
Panic rises in my chest as I realize that Jean is not that far away, and probably heard their comment. Hanji says goodbye with a wink, and skips off to go find Erwin and Levi. As they do, Jean rushes over. “Them too?” He says with a shocked look on his face.   
I roll my eyes. “What do you expect?”   
“Whore.” He jokes. Jean and I were great friends, despite our occasional hookup.   
“Self-proclaimed.” I say with a cheeky wink as I walk away. He laughs slightly before turning to go find a place to sit. I should really be more careful about my relationships. If any of the higher ranks figure out about each other… it could be disastrous. I think. My eyes can’t help but drift over to where Hanji is sitting with Levi and Erwin. Hanji glances over at me, winking quickly before going back to her conversation. I could be mistaken, but I could’ve sworn Captain Ackerman looked my way too. Without another thought, I exit the dining hall and go to take a nap in the barracks, wanting to get away from the bubbling cadets, and enjoy my nice evening.   
***   
I’m woken up with a jolt, Jean’s voice shouting, “Oi! Get up!” I open my eyes and jump up, fixing my bed head. Jean snorts with laughter at my frazzled face.   
“What!” I exclaim, looking around the barracks.   
“Nothing. Dinner’s served.”   
I groan. “Really? You woke me up for food?”   
Jean shakes his head in disapproval and with a chuckle he states, “You and Sasha are so different.” I roll my eyes and yawn, wanting to go back to my nap. Jean stands there, looking me up and down. I cock my eyebrow lazily in question, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. “We could… skip dinner.” He says in a suggestive tone.   
My mouth goes dry, and for a moment, I remember our tangled bodies in Jean’s bed. He wasn’t bad in bed, I’d go even as far to say that he’s good, but we are close friends. It could get complicated real fast. Yet, something inside me needs to scratch that itch. Finally deciding, I look him up and down with hunger before nodding. He’s on me in no time, our mouths colliding, and clothes flying off. I don’t even have time to process every touch before he’s thrown himself over me on the bed. It doesn’t take long for us to approach our climaxes, yet as I’m about to unleash the tension that’s been building inside of me, the door flies open.   
Jean scrambles off me, and I pull the covers over me, not wanting to expose myself to our fellow cadets (even though most of them had already seen me naked). Fear runs through my body as my eyes land on the small frame standing in the door. Levi Ackerman. Out of all people that could’ve caught me with Jean, it had to be Levi fucking Ackerman. “I- sir! Um.” I scramble to find my shirt, and curse myself for allowing Jean and I to be so careless.   
“Put your clothes on. Springer just earned you all an extra round of training tonight.”   
'Connie, I’m going to murder you.' I think. Why couldn’t anyone but Levi have looked for us. Why would he care enough to even come and find Jean and I? “Y-yessir. It’s not what it-” Jean stops his sentence, knowing there’s nothing to say in this moment. Levi turns and before he leaves, his eyes connect with mine for a slight second before he walks out of the barracks.   
I chuck a pillow at Jean. “Fucking dumbass! You didn’t lock the door?!” I scold.   
“Oi! You could’ve locked it too!” Jean shouts back. I bury my face in my hands, embarrassment building inside me. “Come on, it’s not like Ackerman hasn’t seen it before.” Jean says in an attempt to comfort me as he throws his clothes on hastily.   
“That one hasn’t.” I mutter. Jean looks at me, processing my words.   
“Okay first off, Mikasa? How have we not talked about that. Second off, you haven’t bagged the Captain.”   
“He’s terrifying! I don’t think I could even if I tried.” I argue.   
Jean scoffs. “You fucked Erwin, I’m positive you could get Ackerman.”   
“Captain Levi doesn’t interest me.” I say after I finish buttoning my shirt. We both exit the barracks, only to see Captain Levi still standing there. My face goes red, hoping that Levi didn’t hear me say I have no interest in him. Not that he’d care anyway. “C-captain.” I stutter, standing up straight.   
“Get a move on, brats. I’ll write you up if I have to.” He scolds. We both hang our heads, and start to scurry off. “And, L/N, try to get someone more interesting than this bloke next time.”   
My eyes go wide, and Jean blushes. Did Levi Ackerman just… make a joke? Or… was that flirting? Maybe he was just trying to insult Jean. No matter what his intentions were, I just nod. “Yes, sir.” Jean and I jog off, trying to hide our giggles of embarrassment as we head to training.


	2. Punishments and Bad Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting caught with Jean, Levi sends unfair and biased punishments my way. When I find myself in another predicament, the punishments only worsen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all wanted another chapter, so here you go. I hope you guys enjoy! Thank you for the great support, honestly, I'm quite happy with the comments I've gotten.

The night that Levi caught Jean and I was one of the most horrific events of my life, and I’ve faced titans. Of course, I tried my best to push it from my mind, but having to see the Captain everyday was awful. He seemed to be giving me even more looks, but I couldn’t decipher if it was anger, or disgust, or a different type of emotion in his eyes. Not only that, but he seemed to be pushing me harder during training. Not only that, but I was forced to pick up the newer cadets’ cleaning work. By the end of the first week after the incident, every muscle in my body was sore.   
I groan and throw my head into my pillow, trying to shut out the light that creeps into the barracks. “If I knew our punishment would be this bad, I wouldn’t have fucked you.” I scowl at Jean. He laughs with a shrug, leaning against Sasha’s bedpost.   
“It’s not that bad.”  
“Oh yea. Only because Ackerman is a complete sexist, and he let you off easy.” I spit.   
Jean rolls his eyes. “It’s really not that bad, y/n.” He stretches his arms, massaging his shoulder in the process.   
“Not worth it.” I mutter, leaning deeper into my pillow. I can hear Jean snort in amusement, and I flip him off blindly. Maybe playing my fellow cadets was coming back to bite me in the ass… nah it doesn’t work like that. Seriously, it was just my rash decision making. Honestly, I’m never letting Jean near me ever again.   
“Alright, L/N?” I hear a sweet voice ask. I look up to see Sasha standing there, a concerned look on her face.   
“Fine. Ackerman’s just an ass.” I mutter.   
“Mikasa?” She questions, her interest peaking slightly. Sasha liked to gossip, despite not having her mouth void of food for long enough to speak.   
“Captain Levi.” I respond, letting my face sink back into the pillow.   
“He caught me rearranging y/n’s guts.”   
I chuck my pillow at him. “Don’t flatter yourself, 2 incher.” Sasha snorts with laughter as Jean defends himself.   
“This is what sleeping around gets you.” Sasha teases.   
“Shut up. The only thing you’ve had sex with is a cucumber.”   
“Not true. I’ve gotten laid.” Sasha defends. I stifle my laughter and she punches my arm. I groan, pain shooting through my already sore limbs.   
“Oi! L/N, Levi wants you to clean the dining hall.” Connie yells out as he enters the barracks.   
“If Levi’s short ass body shows up in a ditch, you know who did it.” I scowl, getting off of the bed. Jean lets out a laugh as I exit the room. Reluctantly, I enter the dining room, and pick up a bucket before filling it with water. I start with the counters of the tables, and as I’m halfway through it, Hanji walks in.   
“Hey, sweetcheeks.” They purr, letting their body rub against mine slightly as I clean. I nod my head in acknowledgement while continuing my cleaning job. Levi would without a doubt, be coming to check up on me, and I did NOT want to get caught again. Though, they did smell fairly nice today, like ink and lemongrass. All it took was them moving their lips over my neck for me to shiver, and lean back into them.   
“Commander.” I murmur in warning, wanting to resist the urge to give in. It was a long week, and I needed something to ease the ache in my bones. As if Hanji read my mind, they bring their hands under my shirt, massaging my back slightly. My hands grip the sudsy sponge, trying to focus on my task while also enjoying their touch.   
“You seem… tense, y/n. What’s on your mind?” They ask, their breath hitting a sweet spot behind my ear, making me shiver in anticipation. How could I answer that? The fact that I was caught, legs in the air with Jean Kirstein by my Captain, or maybe I could say their soft hands on my skin was intoxicating. Maybe the fact that I’d be stuck at the bottom of the Survey Corps since my Captain now knew how I sounded during sex, and probably had no respect for me anymore. My aching limbs, and need for a good night’s sleep was on my mind too.   
I didn’t say any of those things, though, and instead, let out a sigh of relief, loosening my grip on the sponge. I spin around and place my hands on both sides of Hanji’s cheeks, bringing their face closer to mine. The gap between our lips close, and as they wrap their arms around my lower back, Levi’s voice rings through the almost empty dining hall.   
“Hanji!” He scolds. Hanji snaps away from me, wiping their lips, and covering their face with embarrassment. Levi looks at me, his eyes studying every aspect of my face, which contained an ever growing blush. He walks calmly over to us, letting his hand rest against the still wet table. “You call this cleaning?” Levi spits, letting his eyes fall on me.   
“I- just got distracted for a moment, Captain.” I say, gulping down the growing panic in my chest.   
“Finish cleaning.” He orders. I nod obediently, going back to scrubbing the dining room tables. Levi grabs Hanji’s arm and pulls them away from me. Unfortunate enough, they were both out of earshot, though, I could see them looking at me from the corner of my eye. After a few moments, Levi struts over, his arms crossed. His stoic eyes analyze my body language. “Stop cleaning.”   
Without another thought, I remove my hands from the sponge, not wanting to be punished by this asshole of a man anymore. “A soldier should be able to control herself.” Offense buries itself deep inside my stomach. I wanted nothing more than to shout at him that I had full autonomy over my body, and I wasn’t some horny kid he could look down upon, but I didn’t. If he wanted to slut shame me, he could. “First Jean, now my own commander.”   
“Just because you can’t get laid doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t.” The words left my mouth before I could stop them. Levi looks as if he’s just been hit in the face, his dark eyes that are normally apathetic filling with rage. Despite the fact that he could ruin my career, I don’t apologize. He was an ass, and deserved to be insulted. “You let Jean off easily, but because I won’t even think about fucking you, I’m the one that’s punished.” I watch his reaction. The anger seems to stay in his eyes, but his face remains eerily unchanging.   
“Get out.” Levi says calmly. Hanji looks as if they’re about to defend me, but he raises his hand in silence. I don’t question it, but my rage gets the better of me. I kick over the soapy bucket, and storm out of the dining hall. On my way out, I flip him off, and I can hear Hanji’s laugh as I run out to the barracks.   
“Fuck!” I scream, kicking my foot against the bedpost. Sasha inquires what’s wrong, but I just ignore her and flop into bed without another thought.   
***   
It wasn’t long before the word about my insubordination spread. Jean teased me about it, Eren commended me on my insubordination. If Eren Yeager was on my side, it wasn’t a good sign. He was a spoiled brat that got away with everything, but that didn’t stop me from sinking my teeth into him on multiple occasions.   
Armin takes a seat next to me under a tree during one of my few breaks. “Did you actually tell him he couldn’t get laid?” He asks, eyes wide with curiosity. I just nod, hitting my head against the bark, hoping the memory would magically exit my skull. Of course, it didn’t, and Armin sat there, laughing. “Honestly, and I thought Eren was the one I had to take care of.”   
“I don’t need to be taken care of.” I retort.   
Armin shakes his head. “No. Of course not. Just… you remind me of a dictator… maybe a queen?”   
“A what?” I question, not recognizing what a dictator is.   
“I read about it in a book one day. Dictators, they don’t care what other people think. They rule the world the way they want to, even if they get hate for it.” Armin explains. It almost makes me laugh. Dictator… “Then again, maybe not. Dictators were tyrannical, and probably not as charismatic as you.”   
“Oh, so Levi.” I state, a smirk rising on my face. Armin laughs slightly.   
“I guess you could see him that way.” He leans against the thick tree stump with me. I let the cool breeze hit my face, sinking my hands into the grass. It was the first time since the incident that I could breathe. Though, it didn’t last long, since I had to go clean the boy’s bathroom. Now that was the worst punishment. Levi made the cadets who performed the worst during the week clean it out. I never imagined myself doing this task, yet here I am. All because the short Captain was a sexually frustrated ass.


	3. Attraction and Back Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After weeks of ruthless punishment from Levi, I finally get a day to myself. When that day ends however, the tension between myself and the Captain reignites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we jump into the chapter, I want to address some things. Firstly, thank you all for the support, it really means a lot to me, and I appreciate all the supportive comments! Honestly, I've never gotten this much support from a fandom. Secondly, I understand ao3 can be hard to navigate, so I did post it on wattpad, but wattpad's algorithm is harder with my upload schedule, so the latest updated story can be found here. Lastly, I figured out how to fix the line spacing. I won't be changing to second person, though, I just don't have enough experience writing in that pov. 
> 
> Again, thank you all for the support, and I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

The next few weeks of toilet duty felt agonizing, and I thought it’d never end. Luckily, the Captain stopped being petty, and let me off. It still pissed me off that Jean barely got any punishment, but I was slowly getting over that. After weeks of the gruesome overworking, and extra cleaning, I finally had a day off. 

Eren, Armin, Mikasa and I sit in the sun, allowing ourselves to enjoy our free moments. Even though the world we lived in was a hell on earth, it was moments like this that made me happy. Eren and Armin laugh together, just like they always have, and Mikasa just observes quietly. Honestly, despite my jealousy of Eren’s privilege with the Captain, I enjoyed his presence. 

Eventually, Sasha, Connie and Jean join us. It doesn’t take long for Jean and Eren to be bickering back and forth. Sasha and I look at each other with amusement, enjoying the way the two fought. Days like these were becoming less common, and I tried to memorize every aspect of our moments together.

“No toilet duty today?” Connie asks. 

I shiver, the thought of the dreadful boy’s bathroom filling my mind once again. Shaking my head, Eren lets out a laugh. “Shoulda kept your mouth shut.” 

“You’re one to talk, Yeager.” Jean immediately defends. “You’re always standing up against Ackerman.” It bothered me slightly that Jean thought it was his place to defend me, but I just ignore it, leaning back against the plush grass. 

“At least I didn’t get caught screwing some girl by the Captain.” Eren retorts. 

“Oi! I’m right here, and I’m not ‘some girl.’ Don’t forget who beats you in close combat, Eren.” I seethe, covering my face with my arm to shield the sun in my eyes. 

Armin lays down next to me with a sigh. Jean and Eren bicker in the background, but I tune out their voices, not wanting to deal with the abundance of testosterone flying through the air. “Why haven’t you gotten with Levi yet?” Armin asks casually, braiding strands of grass together lazily. 

Even hearing his name made me cringe. Honestly, he was an insufferable bastard whose only personality trait was being a clean freak. Plus, Hanji had told me multiple times that he couldn’t get laid, and it was quite funny. Sleeping with him would have no benefit for me, and if he favored me after, the other cadets would never let me hear the end of it. Of course, I had slept with other commanders like Erwin and Hanji, but both of them were objective enough they could put their feelings aside. Eventually, I respond with a shrug. “Not interested.” 

It was amusing to me, that Levi was slightly frustrated. Maybe he was just sick of catching me in the act, but part of me wondered if he was jealous. Either way, he still couldn’t get laid. Honestly, even Armin and I had sex at some point, and it was mostly to piss off Eren. 

The first time I slept with Eren, Mikasa figured out, and I felt a bit guilty. Yet, I refused to apologize for enjoying myself when she was too scared to make a move. She ended up… taking her aggression out on me. It was a great night, one I would never forget. My eyes subconsciously avert to her, and I fight the urge to frown as she watches Eren with a sparkling gaze. I sigh, and sit up. “Oi, Jean. Give Eren a break already.” I tell him. They had been fighting the entire time, and it was ruining the lovely evening. Jean obeys, and sits down next to me. We all relax in the sun for hours until eventually it starts to get cold, and dinner time rolls around. 

Sasha reaches over to grab my bread off my plate, and I grab her wrist. “Oi, ask first.” I say, placing the piece of bread in her hand. She smiles gratefully and stuffs her face full of the bread. I shake my head, letting my head rest in my hand lazily. From across the room I can see Hanji, Erwin and Levi eating. It was rare to see all three of them eating in the common area, but it was slightly refreshing. Hanji is acting some type of experiment out. Levi and Erwin watch her with amusement, but after moments of me looking over at them, Levi’s eyes shift. His gaze meets mine, and my heart drops. Looking away quickly, I stuff my face with part of my baked potato, not wanting to meet his gaze. 

Once I finished dinner, I started to head back to the barracks to hopefully get some sleep. Unfortunately, I ran into Levi. “Captain.” I address him, standing up straight and looking him in the eyes even in the dimly lit room. 

“Y/N.” He addresses me back. He used my first name? I stand there, waiting to be dismissed by him, but his eyes are studying me, my posture, my demeanor, everything about me. “Erwin too?” He asks, his face still showing no change in emotion. 

A blush rises in my face involuntarily. I had no shame, but something about Levi knowing I screwed his best friend irked me. I nod my head, and he steps forward. “Everyone but me?” He questions. Something about his tone made it seem like more of a statement than a question, but none-the-less, I answered. 

“Yes.” I say, cocking my eyebrow with confidence. A barely noticeable smile rises on his lips, and he steps closer to me carefully. He’s inches away from me now, and his facial expressions have barely changed since the beginning of our conversation. Yet, I can sense something different in his eyes, possibly lust, but it was hard to tell with him. 

“Why.” This time it was a statement, not a question. He needed an answer, but I couldn’t provide him one. My mouth suddenly became dry, and no words seemed to form in my mouth. 

“I-” How do I answer this? He’s a raging virgin who's an uptight asshole? “You did make me clean out toilets for a month.” I finally found the words to answer. 

“Before that. You didn’t think about me?” He questions. Levi’s eyes haven’t left my face, and there’s an ever growing curiosity inside of them. 

Why were these questions so tough to answer? I mean… of course I’ve thought about him. Despite being my captain, and an uptight sexually frustrated imbecile, I couldn’t help but wonder what he was like. “No.” A lie, a complete and utter lie. I’ve come this far without sleeping with him, and I intend keep it that way. Levi’s expression changes slightly, and my heart begins to pound out of my chest. 

He steps forward, his face inches from mine. I can feel his hot breath against my skin, and it was slightly intoxicating. Levi’s eyes still haven’t left mine, and with every passing moment, it was becoming harder to resist him. “You sure?” He whispers, his voice sending shivers down my spine. 

Every atom in my body wanted to scream ‘no’, and close the gap between us, but I had more respect for myself than that. I kept my desires to myself. “Positive.” I respond, hiding the fact that my heart was beating faster than I’ve felt, even during training. Without waiting for him to dismiss me, I sauntered away. Despite my new found attraction to Levi Ackerman, he was still an ass who had no right to try and seduce me after making me muck out the toilets for weeks. 

***

Our one day off had come to an end, and the next morning it was back to training once again. Luckily, Erwin was the one training us today. Honestly, being near Levi right now could be quite explosive, and I didn’t want to be back on toilet duty. 

Sweat drips off my face as I finish the last lap, crashing down on the floor. Mikasa, Jean and Eren all follow swiftly behind me, falling onto the grass in no time. “I’ll beat you one of these days.” Jean mutters through his heavy breaths. 

“Sure you will, kitten.” I joke, giving him a wink. Jean flips me off, and just as I catch my breath, my name is called. My shoulders slump, recognizing the voice right away. Levi. 

“Keep running.” He orders as I stand up. I meet his gaze, and fight the urge to object. The break I got yesterday reminded me that pissing him off wasn’t worth it. 

I run another lap while the rest of my fellow cadets rest in the cool shade of the tree. My legs burn slightly, but it wasn’t the worst training myself or anyone else had received. When I finish my lap, Levi just orders me to do another. I obey, and when I finish, he repeats the cycle. It happens over and over again until I finally snap. “Alright, asshole. Is there a reason I’m being punished, or are you just upset I won’t fuck you?” 

Levi’s eyes go dark. “Brat. Keep running.” 

“No.” I say, standing up straight to meet his gaze finally. “If you act like this, no wonder no one wants to sleep with you.” I spit, my eyes narrowing into a glare. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Mikasa smirk, and Jean cover his mouth in surprise. “Honestly, if you want to fuck me so bad, just say it, Ackerman.” 

“Is sex all you think about.” He growls. “You think my punishments are because I’m sexually frustrated, but do you ever wonder if it’s because you’re an incompetent soldier?” That stings. I was higher ranking than most of my peers, and ended up on more missions than any of them. “You honestly just slept your way to the top.” 

Without another thought, I lunge at him, but before my fist can connect with his face, he dodges it with ease. It was foolish of me to try to take on Levi Ackerman, the titan slayer, but I can’t help myself. Anger boils in the pit of my stomach, and I want nothing more than to pummel his smug, unchanging face into the dirt. I go for another punch, but he grabs my wrist. His dark eyes connect with mine, and he warns, “Stand down, cadet.” 

My fist clenches. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were veins popping out of my head right now. I rip my wrist away from him, and square my shoulders, standing up tall. “I didn’t sleep my way to the top. I worked for my spot here, and if you can’t see that, maybe you’re not as great of a soldier as you thought.” Not caring enough about his rebuttal, I turn and walk away. Everyone had been watching me, and Mikasa smiled slightly. I could hear Jean and Sasha calling me an idiot now, I could feel the weeks of sore limbs as punishment. Yet, nothing but euphoria fills my body after telling off the Captain. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the explosive training session with Levi, a new mission comes up. Levi's punishment for my backtalk hit me fairly different this time, and I never want to experience that ever again. Yet, I find a way to get back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Again, thank you so much for your support. Don't forget to bookmark or subscribe if you enjoy the story!  
> I appreciate all the lovely comments I receive from all of you, and I try to read through them all. To answer a frequently asked question, I don't know when I will get my chapters out, but I usually try to release one chapter a week. Those chapters usually arrive on Friday or Saturday, but it's not uncommon for me to post on Sunday or Monday. It's rare for me to post during the Tuesday-Thursday, but sometimes I will, so make sure to keep a look out!  
> If I don't post one week, please do not pressure me to drop the next chapter. I can get fairly busy with school, and I want to make sure the chapter is ready and not rushed.  
> Also, I did see a few comments saying I was 10. I'm not 10, the tik tok that started that was talking about a different author, but I prefer to keep my age concealed, and my identity anonymous.  
> Once again, thank you all for your continued support. Those that tell me to keep my mental health preserved, and not to feel pressured, I appreciate you more than you know. Enjoy this chapter y'all.

Levi hadn’t been punishing me at all this week, and I was very suspicious as to why. Not knowing how he was going to torture me was slightly concerning, but I took the win, trying not to think about it. My hands graze my ODM gear, absolutely ecstatic to go on another mission. Hanji had told me about it this morning, and said I would most likely be going. I grab the ODM gear and start to attach it to my belt, but Levi’s voice rings out. “L/N.” I don’t stop attaching my ODM, but I look up to meet his gaze. “You’re not going.” 

“What?!” I exclaim. Connie looks shocked as well, and he stops attaching his gear. 

“Sir, y/n is almost as great as Mikasa.” Connie argues. It only takes Levi’s glare to get him to shut up. Connie looks away and continues to attach his gear. 

“Sir, with all due respect, I think you’re making a mistake.” 

“You’re not irreplaceable, cadet.” He states, his face, and eyes unchanging. ‘Cold bastard.’ I think. 

“You can make me muck out the toilets all you want, but do not take away my chances to rise up.” I say it with authority, but it takes everything in me not to let my voice crack. If Levi wanted to play this game, I had to show him I won’t back down. 

Levi steps closer to me calmly, forcing me to back up until I hit the table. He moves his face closer to mine, and with a menacing gaze he orders, “You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do.” 

My fists clench, fingers digging into the palm of my hands. Was this the angle he was playing at? Is Levi Ackerman really so childish that he’d take away my chances just to prove that he had control over me. “Take off the gear, cadet.” He orders. 

Every muscle in my body bursts with anger, and the pain in my hands start to grow. Finally, I break his gaze, releasing my clenched fists. I rip off my ODM gear without a care in the world, slam it on the table and spit out the word, “Fine.” Angrily, I stomp away from the table, not wanting to show my disappointment to my fellow cadets. 

I end up in the field where we train, taking out my aggression on the close combat dummies. Honestly, punching the dummy, imagining it as Levi was slightly therapeutic. After a while of my screaming curses and hitting the dummy, I fall to the ground with exhaustion. It’s at that moment when I hear a familiar voice say, “You alright?” I turn around to see Erwin standing in front of me. I immediately jump up and start to salute, but he waves his hand. “No need to be formal.” 

I relax, and answer him. “I’m fine.” 

Erwin laughs a bit. “I don’t think the dummy can say the same.” I look over, and realize I did quite a number on it. “You’re not on the mission?” 

I shake my head. “You either?” Erwin shakes his head as well. It was probably too minor to need multiple commanders, plus if Hanji was involved, it was most likely crazy. Despite being my superior, it was easy to talk to Erwin. He had a calm presence, and wasn’t as stuck up as Levi. 

“Levi’s kind of been on your ass lately.” He states. 

I let out an involuntary laugh. “‘Kind of’ is an understatement.” Erwin smiles sweetly, and an idea pops into my head. Erwin and I had sex before, but screwing him now would be icing on the cake to piss of Levi. It’d show him that if he wanted to take me off of missions, I’d fuck his best friend. Suggestively, I eye Erwin, and he seems to take the hint quickly. Without another thought, he grabs me and pulls me into the nearest barrack. Unlike Jean, he takes note to lock the door before placing both hands (yes this is before the incident) on the side of my head. He presses me against the wall gently and kisses me. I kiss him back, letting the frustration and anger that built up over the week seep into the kiss. 

“You sure about this?” He asks simply through the kiss. I just nod, not wanting to tear my lips from his. Erwin has always been caring, and he never took advantage of me, or gave me special perks because of the one time we had sex. Erwin starts to undress, and as I watch his fingers remove the cloth, I can’t help but smirk and think about Levi’s face. I remove my own clothes as well, and we’re on each other in no time. His lips against my skin, the heat of the moment, I honestly wish Levi could walk in right now and see me fucking his best friend and commander. 

Yet, he didn’t. The moment with Erwin ended after a while, and we both hastily put on our clothes, realizing that the mission was probably almost over. Erwin left before me, and I went to take a shower once the coast was clear. Unfortunately, I ended up running into Jean. 

“Oi, idiot!” Jean calls out. I roll my eyes and turn around. He’s about to say something when his eyes fall on my shirt. I look down and realize it’s inside out. “Seriously?” Jean asks, shaking his head. 

“What? Not like I could release my tension fighting titans.” I mutter, kicking the grass. 

“Who?” He asks. I’m about to answer when he shakes his head. “You know what? I don’t even wanna know.” 

I laugh, and take off my shirt, putting it on correctly. “How’d the mission go?” 

“Fine. Eren got to go with Ackerman’s squad again.” 

“Get any kills?” 

“No. Assisted Mikasa, though.” He says. His face starts to redden and I smirk. 

“Aww. Isn’t that adorable?” I mock, knowing he likes Mikasa. He punches my arm, and I clutch it. “Jesus, no need to get all wound up, lover boy.” He tries to punch me again, but I dodge it this time. “Have fun. She’s in love with her brother.” I walk away with a wink, still planning on showering. 

As I step into the bathrooms, my eyes land on a short black haired Captain. ‘Fucking hell. Do I ever get a break from him?’ I think. I clear my throat to let him know I’m here, and he looks up as he’s unbuttoning his shirt. “Good mission?” I ask bitterly, crossing my arms. He continues to unbutton his shirt. Heat rushes to my face, but I stand tall, not wanting him to know the attraction I have for him even though it’s equally met with a raging hate. 

“Successful.” Levi responds simply, stripping off his shirt. He was covered in blood, and I couldn’t tell if it was his own or titan blood. Either way, I hated that he looked good with dried blood scattered across his muscles. Needing to advert my eyes, I turn and start to strip my clothes. From the corner of my eyes, I can see Levi look away quickly. 

Smirking, I turn back to him, still undressing myself, and ask, “Any casualties?” Still avoiding my eyes, he shakes his head ‘no’ in response. I step forward, my confidence growing by the second. When I get close enough to him, I pull off the rest of my shirt, tossing it to the side. He looks up finally, and his eyes go wide, acknowledging the hickeys on my chest. Of course, he didn’t know his best friend caused them, but part of me hopes Erwin tells him later tonight. I lean in close to his ear, and whisper, “Great work. Captain.” Levi shudders at the seductive uttering of his title. I move away from him, and walk away, going to shower. 

As I round the corner, I make sure to check his reaction. He’s standing there, mouth open, face flushed. With a smirk, I strip off the rest of my clothes, getting in the shower. This was one of the only benefits of having co-ed showers. Seeing Levi flustered, and completely under my control was more satisfying than I cared to admit. Plus, it allowed me to gain control of my emotions again. 

By the time I finished my shower, he was still washing off the blood on the wall across from me. Part of me wanted to cross the barrier, and show him that even if he had control over my career, I could still control him. Yet, I fight the urge, and change into my clothes. I quickly head back to the barracks where most of my fellow cadets are either asleep, or laying on their beds in exhaustion. The only person still sitting up is Annie. My eyes lock with hers, and she says, “I see your idiotic mouth finally got the punishment it deserved.” 

“No. I think it deserves more.” I wink at Annie and she rolls her eyes. Annie was insanely attractive, but our personalities never meshed, so of course I never had sex with her. She was one of the few I hadn’t had sex with. Ymir and Christa, Connie, Sasha, and some of the lower ranking cadets. I lay down on my bed, and let the satisfaction of shutting Ackerman up fill my brain. I quickly fall asleep. Maybe I should fluster him more often. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the shower scene shines through, and Levi gets increasingly more frustrated. As the tension builds, and a new mission emerges, Jean, Erwin and I share some intimate moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I was hoping to make this chapter longer, and more action packed, but it ended up being a filler chapter. Hang in there, I promise the next one will be better. It may go up this weekend, but I'm not sure. I hope you're all enjoying the story, and I love reading your comments. Also, there's a little bit of angst at the end because my mentally ill brain finds comfort in sad headcanons. Anyways, enjoy this chapter and hopefully a new one will be on its way.

The next day at training was fairly easy, especially since most of the cadets were still recovering. Jean couldn’t stop bragging about his assist, and it finally took me kicking his shin to get him to shut up. Levi was eyeing me more than usual, which made me a little nervous, but I knew what was on his mind. In just one short moment, I had the sexually frustrated man wrapped around my finger. Honestly, I couldn’t take my eyes off him either. My mind kept remembering the way he looked, covered in blood, muscles glistening with sweat, a blush on his face after seeing me half naked. I meant to regain my control, but I was falling victim to Levi already. 

“Oi, idiot.” Jean says, snapping me out of my thoughts, and forcing me to look away from Levi as he works the younger cadets. “Fuck’s up with you today?” 

“Nothing.” I say confidently. He raises his eyebrows, obviously suspicious, but lets it go. “I’m grabbing water. Want some?” I ask. 

“Yea, sure. Thanks.” He says, leaning back against the tree stump, watching with amusement as the younger cadets struggle with the ODM gear. I get up, and walk to the well. As I’m retrieving some water for Jean and I, someone comes up behind me. 

I turn around, the canisters of water already full. My eyes land on Levi, and I immediately stand up straight. “Captain.” I address, clearing my throat. His eyes search my face, and for a moment, I wonder if Erwin had told him about what we did. I doubt it, but part of me hopes he did. 

“What you did last night was inappropriate.” He says. He says it with authority, but an obvious blush plasters itself on his cheeks. 

I scoff. “What? Taking a shower?” I tease, looking down at his torso, remembering how good he looked. I look up quickly, making sure he doesn’t see me fawning over him. Stringing him along was quite fun. 

“Don’t play dumb.” Levi orders. 

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean, Captain.” I say innocently. “I was quite tired. Erwin had to keep me company since everyone else was on the mission.” A smirk finds itself playing at the corner of my mouth as his eyes go wide with realization. “Now excuse me.” I say, trying to push myself past him. He reaches out his arm to trap me against the well wall. 

Levi doesn’t say anything. His eyes narrow, and my face starts to heat up, though I can’t tell if it’s from the hot day, or his gaze. His hooded eyes study my actions, and my heart skips a beat. Fuck, to think I could control this man? “You really screw everyone but me.” His words were a statement, but there was a whiff of desperation behind them. 

“Yea. I do.” I wanted to kick myself. Why must I antagonize the one person who can make my life a living hell. 

His lips move closer to mine, his breath hitting my skin. “Why.” 

Another statement, like he could change the outcome of this interaction with one word. To be completely honest, I was starting to believe he could. Every inch of my body used to burn with hate for Levi Ackerman, but now, I wanted nothing more but to grab his neck and force my lips onto his. That feeling scares me. My hands reach up and shove him away from me. “Because I’m replaceable.” I say the words with a bite, not forgetting how he downplayed my skill in front of my own peers yesterday. Levi looks slightly shocked, like he was torn from a daydream. Without another word, I walk away from him. 

When I reach Jean, I sit down next to him, taking a swig of my water. It takes a couple of minutes for Levi to come back out and reign hell on the new recruits. My eyes involuntarily followed him, wondering how his lips would have felt against mine if I hadn’t pushed him away. “Oi, idiot. Are you even listening?” Jean asks, snapping me away from my thoughts. 

“Huh? Yea, uh sure.” I say, my face heating up with embarrassment. 

Jean rolls his eyes. “Some best friend you are.” He jokes. I push his shoulder playfully in response before resting my head against the bark of the tree. From a distance, I can see Annie and Eren training. Those two seriously never stopped. Part of me wished I had the same drive as Eren, but if I did, my ego would be bigger than it already is. 

The day passed by fairly quickly, and I was on my way back to the barracks when Erwin pulled me aside. Jean gave me a sideways glance when Erwin did so, but none-the-less, I went with him, not caring about being discreet. “What’s up?” I ask, crossing my arms while waiting for his response. 

“I’m sorry if our relationship somehow holds you back.” His eyes shift at the word relationship, and I cringe slightly. Relationships in this reality would be pointless, and it was one of the main reasons I embraced my sexuality and had fun. Erwin probably realized that Levi was frustrated, and couldn’t get laid, so he was taking it out on me.

“Not at all.” It was a slight lie. I knew Levi would be punishing me for sleeping with his best friend, but even then, the extra training forced me to be a greater soldier. Erwin steps forward, and I can smell his floral cologne radiating off his skin. Our faces are close enough that I can feel his breath against my lips, and I wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss him. 

“Good.” He mutters, reaching up to cup my face with one of his hands. Erwin moves his face forward, our lips inches from touching. His gorgeous blue eyes search mine, waiting for any signal to continue this action. Erwin and I had made out before, but something about this was different. It was more intimate, and something about it scared me. Before I could decide whether I wanted to kiss him, the door flew open. 

Both of us turn to look at the door, snapping away from each other. A short man stands there, his hooded eyes unamused with the sight in front of him. Erwin clears his throat, standing up tall. “Levi.” He addresses his friend, the same authority and respect-earning tone filling his voice. 

“Erwin.” Levi addresses back. He looks over to me, but doesn’t even nod in acknowledgement. “Hanji’s looking for you.” He states. Erwin nods, and without another thought, strides out of the room. Levi’s eyes stay on me, an obvious disappointment showing on his face. 

“Captain.” I say, the blush on my face growing even more. He walks over to me calmly, and stops when he’s barely a foot from me. He steps closer, his lips inches from mine. I can’t help but look down at them, wondering how the soft pull of them would feel against my own. Part of me hopes he wonders the same thing. 

“There’s another mission tomorrow.” He states. My heart falls a little, hoping that he’s not rubbing in his authority over me. “You’ll most likely be attending.” 

My eyes widen a bit with shock, not expecting him to put me on the mission. Maybe he wasn’t as cold-hearted as I thought. “I- thank you, sir.” I stammer, keeping my excitement contained. 

“Get some rest.” He orders. I nod, rushing off immediately. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, but I could have sworn I saw Levi’s mouth curl into a smile. 

When I reach the barracks, Jean is sitting outside, his face slightly deflated. Without another thought, I sit down next to him, and gently say, “You alright?” 

“Yea.” He responds simply. Jean wasn’t great at expressing his emotions, but there were times when he needed to, and I happened to be the person he went to. He must’ve been waiting for me. I don’t push him any farther, and pat his shoulder gently. It’s at that moment when his voice begins to speak once more. “I miss Marco.” 

It hurt to hear his name. We all missed him, especially since he made Jean way more pleasant around Eren. That was something I could never do. Marco was always so empathetic, and made everyone smile. “Me too.” I croak out. My eyes look at Jean, his face is pained. I rest my head on his shoulder as he starts to talk more. Times like these were rare, and I didn’t want to ruin it. 

“Connie told a joke, and I went to grab Marco’s arm, but I realized he wasn’t there.” He croaks out. At this moment, my best friend was completely vulnerable, and I had no idea what to do, so I just stayed silent as he rests his head against mine. It was nice to have someone there for you. We sit there, remembering our fallen friend before realizing we should get some sleep. Jean was without a doubt going on the mission tomorrow as well, and we both needed our rest.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission brings up a lot of action, and a lot of confusion. My feelings start to get muddled, but too exhausted from the mission, I push them aside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support, once again. Your comments never fail to make me laugh or smile, and you're all incredible. Getting this much support for my writing means a lot, especially since I haven't written an x reader since I was in middle school >.<  
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter, and there will be more to come :)

The next day, I awoke with a smile. It was time to finally put all my training to use, and I couldn’t wait. Apparently Hanji was leading this mission because there were sightings of a couple of abnormals during the last mission. They were desperate to study one, and I’m sure they were mad with Levi for taking me off the last mission. None-the-less, I put that behind me, ecstatic to go outside the walls for once. 

As I’m putting my gear on, Jean pushes my arm lightly to make me acknowledge him. “Ready?” He asks. 

I nod as I finish putting on my ODM gear. “Sure as hell am.” I pause, and then ask, “Did you see the abnormal?” 

He nods. “Vaguely. I was preoccupied.” 

“By preoccupied you mean that Mikasa was covering your ass?” I say with a smirk. 

He groans. “Just one day without you teasing me. All I ask.” 

I pat his cheek dauntingly. “Poor baby.” I make a fake pout, and he shoves me lightly. I laugh, pushing him back. We don’t have time to savor the carefree atmosphere as Levi stands at the front, his crew behind him. Without a word, he leads us out to the stables. 

I grab my horse, stroking its mane gently as I mount it. Jean pulls his horse up next to mine, so does Connie and Sasha. We all line up as people cheer for us. The recognition was nice, but they were all cheering for Levi, ‘humanity’s last hope.’ It made me slightly angry, considering I knew that he was a complete and utter asshole. Yet, excitement courses through my body, and I can barely keep the smile off my face. Jean looks over at me, giving a slight wink as we set off. 

It doesn’t take long for us to run into titans. Luckily, they’re three meters. Jean and I both hop off our horses, and as the titan reaches for me, I send a hook into its shoulder, boosting myself up onto its shoulder. Without hesitation, my blades sink into the nape of its neck, and it crashes to the ground. Triumphantly, a holler escapes my lips. “Hell yea!” I shout. Jean does the same after successfully taking down the other one. 

We hop back on our horses, and Jean asks, “Feel good to be back?” 

“Better than good.” I say, a smile settling onto my lips. The wind blowing on my face, the sun warming my cheeks, just everything about this moment is perfect. We continue riding, and don’t come in contact with more titans for a while. We decide to head in, figuring the titans would be more attracted to the middle where most of our troops are. 

We were right. Jean and I both fight our way through the titans, helping out some of the newer cadets. As I finish off an 8 meter, a 10 meter comes out of nowhere. I dodge it, and fly up onto its head. “Fuckin’ hell you need to wash your hair.” I joke. Jean must have overheard since he laughs. I slice its nape with no problem, and allow it to crash to the ground with me still on its neck. 

“Killin it, idiot.” He says with a wink. 

“Right back at you, Jeany boy.” I wink back, replacing my dull blades. I’d racked up 4 kills today, and part of me wanted to find Levi and boast. ‘Not that great a soldier’ my ass. I’m a badass. 

Again, we hop back on our horses, and head inwards, hoping to run across the abnormal. Hanji wanted to lead it into the forest so we could capture it, but we needed to clear the outer perimeters. The flare for abnormals hadn’t been sent out yet, and that was slightly concerning, yet exciting. Part of me hoped I never came in contact with a running titan, but nothing could be the thrill of a new challenge. 

It was just Jean and I at this point. Connie and Sasha had split off with the other groups to cover the newer cadets’ mistakes. We didn’t mind not having a big group, and we could both handle ourselves. Yet, as we move inwards, and a group of titans appear, I can’t help but question our abilities. 

“Oi, you see that thing?” Jean asks. I squint my eyes to get a better look at the group of titans. One of them stood out more than the others, and my eyes widen, immediately realizing that it’s without a doubt the abnormal. 

“Yea.” I respond, reaching for my flare. I send it up into the air, and we ride to the right, trying to catch its attention so we can lead it into the forest. In no time, the ugly bastard has its eyes set on us, and so do the other titans. 

“Shit. Maybe we should’ve waited for other groups to join.” Jean pants as he rides forward. We still had a great lead on the abnormal, but it was gaining on us. 

I just laugh. “Afraid of a challenge, Jean?” 

Jean snorts with a smirk as he pushes his horse faster. “Never.” A smirk rises on my face as I make my horse go faster. The treeline wasn’t far from here, and it would be much easier to deal with this nasty son of a bitch in there. Even though there’s adrenaline coursing through my veins, I can’t help but look back. The abnormal is incredibly close, and the normal playful and cocky attitude I have starts to melt away. Most of the other titans from the group have dropped off, but a few 12 meters keep up with the abnormal. 

As soon as we reach the treeline, we hop off our horses, dispensing our gear quickly to hide up in the trees. We continue to fly in front of the titan, not wanting to get yanked out of the sky and get thrown into the disgusting messful of humans in their stomach. “Shit. Still no backup?” Jean pants after a while. We ended up fairly deep in the forest, but not deep enough that we could rest high enough in the trees. The trees were still too low to stop and rest without fear of getting swiped at. 

“Damnit, Ackerman, Hanji. Where are you.” My muscles were starting to ache and scream at me, and we had to be running out of gas. I didn’t dare think about what would happen if we ran out now. It wouldn’t be too hard to kill this titan, but Hanji wanted it for research purposes. “How far until one of the traps?” I ask. 

“No idea.” He says, looking behind him. I do the same. The titan’s disgusting glassy eyes stare at us with malice. There was nothing human in those eyes, and no matter how many times I came across a titan, I’d never get over that look. 

Just as I’m about to reach a high tree, my eyeline starts to plummet. The trees around me start to blur, and I finally realize what’s happening. I dispense my ODM gear into a tree, but as I do so, I have to way to propel myself. “Fuck.” I curse. I send another hook into another tree, and try to maneuver my way onto the ground, but I end up failing miserably. 

“Y/N!” Jean shouts as I plummet to the ground. I quickly dispense my cord, trying to gain stability any way I can. Yet, another problem arises, the abnormal. 

The abnormal swipes at me, and I dodge out of the way, but it grabs me with its other hand. My diaphragm begs for air as the hand tightens around me. I try to loosen my arms to reach for my blades, but fail miserably. The titan raises my slowly up to its eyeline, and any playful attitude I still had left completely evacuates my body, fear replacing it quickly. No way in hell would I die this way. Just as I’m about to reach my mouth down to bite the titan’s hand, blood clouds my vision. The feeling of falling surrounds me as the air whips against my skin, but it’s stopped with an arm against me. I can only assume it’s Jean, and grab onto his shoulder. He felt slightly smaller than normal, but our diets hadn’t exactly been adequate lately. I dismiss it, and reach up to clear the blood from my eyes. 

“Took you long enough, idio-” I stop short as I realize the person who saved me in fact was not Jean, but Levi Ackerman. ‘Dumbass!’ I scold myself quietly. Levi doesn’t even look at me, but keeps his arm tight against my waist. 

“Be more careful.” He states. 

Anger rises in me, replacing any gratitude I had felt for him. Did he seriously just scold me for trying to complete HIS mission? Before I have any time to retort, Levi lands on a high tree branch, but he doesn’t release his grip on me. I release my arms from around his shoulders, but his hand remains on my waist. He looks down at me with an unfamiliar glint in his light graphite eyes. My face heats up, and I start to wonder if he in fact, was not scolding me, but caring about me. Was Levi Ackerman getting over his apathetic and dictatorial attitude? 

Before I even had time to answer the question myself, he released me, only to fly after the abnormal, whose hand was steaming as it tried to regenerate. Jean soon replaces me, breathless. “Oi, idiot.” He scolds. I’m about to fight back when he embraces me in a brief hug. “Don’t scare me like that.” 

I hug back lightly before pulling away with a laugh. “Aw, but it’s so fun to see your scared face.” 

Jean rolls his eyes, pushing my arm gently. “You alright?” He asks. 

I nod, reaching down to feel my ribs. The action wasn’t because of the burning pain from the titan’s grip, but from where Levi’s arm had just been. It was odd, feeling so close to his body, but in his grasp, with his arm clutching me to his side, I’ve never felt more at ease. Granted, I did believe that he was Jean for most of the encounter. “Oi, you got brain damage or something?” Jean asks, waving his arm. 

Snapping out of it, I remove my hand from my ribs. “I’m fine. Just a little shaken.” Jean and I wait there in the trees, waiting for orders. The capture of the abnormal was unsuccessful since Levi took it down easily, but the mission prevailed without any casualties. Jean and I got our horses back quickly, and we rode back, both covered in sweat and blood. My ribs ache with every bounce of the horse, but I’m just lucky to be alive. 

When we get back, I immediately head to the infirmary. I strip off my shirt, leaning against the wood of the medical benches. A nurse comes over, and says, “Goddamn, y/n, what’d you do?” 

“Got grabbed by a tita-” the end of my word is cut off with a cry of pain as she stabs at my bruise. “Fuck, a bit of warning.” I groan. 

“Sorry.” She mutters, pressing on my stomach. After a while of her examining me, she sighs. “Well, I can’t really do much for this. You have a couple of broken ribs, and they should heal on their own without physical activity.” I look away, but she meets my eyeline. “That means no training.” 

“How long?” 

“Not long. 4-6 weeks?” She estimates. 

“6 weeks?!” I exclaim. I’m about to prove that I don’t have a broken rib when a voice rings out. 

“You’re alive.” I recognize the voice immediately and turn to see Levi. Those words could mean anything ranging from ‘I’m glad you’re alive’ to ‘you’re a complete idiot and the only reason you’re still breathing is because of me.’ 

Even without knowing the meaning, I nod. The nurse steps away, and draws the curtains. Levi steps forward, and searches me with his eyes. My heart starts to race, not knowing how to interpret his gaze. He finally makes eye contact with me, and orders, “Clean up.”

“A little bit of titan blood never hurt anyone.” I quip. Levi raises his eyebrow, and I immediately regret saying that. He wasn’t one for humor in situations like this apparently. I clear my throat, and correct my statement. “Of course. I’ll go do that.” I hop off the hospital bench, wincing slightly with pain. 

As I’m leaving, Levi grabs my arm. I turn to look at him, but his gaze is set straight ahead at nothing. “Try not to die next time. You’re not replaceable.” Shocked, I just nod before rushing off. It takes a moment for me to process it, but once I do, a blush forms on my cheeks. Levi didn’t talk much, but when he did, he managed to provoke every type of emotion from me. I shake my head, trying to shake his words from my head as I rush to the showers. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission leaves my ribs bruised and sore. Sleepless nights force tiredness into my limbs, and I finally give in to the exhaustion, and ignore the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all thank you again for all the support, I'll continue to say it at the beginning of every chapter. I really appreciate you all, and I try to read all your comments. Some of your usernames really make my laugh.   
> Anyways, back to the story. Smut warning! (don't say I didn't warn you)

The next couple of days and nights were absolutely agonizing since I couldn’t train. It was nice to have a break from the extra laps my smart remarks earned me, but I missed training with my friends. Passing the days was hard, but I was managing. Most of the time, I tried to sleep under the shade of the tree while everyone else was working. 

“Hey, idiot.” Jean’s voice rings out as he sits down next to me. 

Without opening my eyes, I nod. “Jean.” I address. 

“No witty remark?” He asks. 

I shake my head. “Too tired.” I respond. It was true. The initial pain of sleeping on my ribs kept me up most nights, and it was even harder to sleep in the day with all the hollering from the commanders. 

“Feeling alright?” He asks, placing a canteen in my hands. 

I raise the water to my lips, drinking it gratefully. “Yea.” 

“Well, we’re heading off to lunch if you want to join.” Jean offers. I just shake my head, leaning back against the tree and closing my eyes. He pats my arm gently before rushing off to catch up with Sasha and Connie. My pain had dulled and it didn't take long for the peaceful atmosphere to ease me into my sleep. 

I jolt awake with the feeling of a boot kicking my leg lightly. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I realize that it had gotten dark already. My eyes search for the person who woke me up, and they finally settle on a short silhouette. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, but I finally recognize the person as Levi. 

I immediately pop up to my feet, standing tall, and resisting the urge to touch my hand to my ribs. “Captain.” I address, but as I go to salute, he grabs my arm softly, making my breath catch in my throat. His eyes connect with mine. My senses numb, the trees and night air blurring around me until I can only see his graphite eyes staring at me, and can only feel his light grip on my wrist. 

“Are you healing alright?” He asks, his eyes searching my face. 

My words lump in my throat, and my temperature starts to rise. I open my mouth, and hope that the words will roll off my tongue, but nothing comes out. It takes him brushing his thumb lightly over my wrist to snap me back to reality. “I-I’m healing fine, sir.” 

“Good.” He states simply. He steps closer slightly, his eyes still trained on mine. “Be more careful next time.” Levi whispers, his breath brushing my flushed skin ever so delicately. The smell of tea, metal and soap. The same soap that we used in our cleaning mixture to scrub the filth out of the floors somehow now attracts me. Never in my life did I think I’d find that scent attractive. Yet, as Levi stares deep into my eyes, I can’t help but find myself wishing his scent was all over my skin. 

“I…” Every particle in my body wants to retort, and tell him it was his fault I was in that situation in the first place, but his gaze has me completely under his control. 

“Maybe I should keep you off of missions.” He mutters. I couldn’t tell if he was joking, talking to me, or simply thinking out loud, but none-the-less, the words were enough to snap me back to reality. 

Ripping my wrist from his grasp, I growl lowly under my breath, “You don’t own me.” He looks shocked, and slightly confused, but I still continue to tell him off. “You have no right or authority to keep me away from success. Fuck you, Levi Ackerman.” 

Without another thought, I storm away from him, feeling completely foolish for letting my feelings cloud my judgement. Every portion of reason that resonated in my bones told me that Levi Ackerman was an ass, but my heart forced me to think of him differently. My flushed skin told me that the way he held me against his body protectively after saving me was because he cared about me. Really, I know that he didn’t want or need me, but I wish I was more to him than someone to play with. I wish I was someone who could capture the feelings of Levi Ackerman, but I’m not, and I know I’ll never be. In reality, far away from my foolish and childish dreams, Levi Ackerman is a cold-hearted, and selfish bastard who wants nothing other than authority. 

This is exactly why I didn’t bother with feelings or relationships. For this exact reason, for men who thought they could force me into submission. Men like Levi Ackerman are the reason I take pride in my sexuality, and let my body control my thoughts. He’s the exact reason my knuckles found themselves rapping against the door of a certain commander’s room late at night. 

The door opens, and a tall man stands in the door frame, his blonde hair slightly messed, and blue eyes filled with sleep. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, I shove myself into his room, closing the door behind him. Erwin looks taken aback as I brush my lips against his. “Woah.” He says, pulling back. “You alright?” 

“I’m fine. Just, take off your clothes. Please.” I beg, I needed some type of release. I needed to escape the feelings for Levi that dwelled deep in my stomach. 

He opened his mouth to object, but everything in his blue eyes wanted to say yes. “Slow down.” He finally commands. 

I shrug off my shirt, facing him with a smirk. “Why?” I question, not wanting to keep my desires waiting any longer. 

Erwin stands there, mouth slightly agape as he stares at me in awe. “I… are you sure? You’re still healing, and-” 

I step forward and press my finger to his lips to silence him. “Stop.” I lean in and press my lips against his ever so gently. “Talking.” 

Without hesitation, he obeys, and kisses me back, his arms immediately wrapping around my waist. My legs wrap around his waist, and he goes to lay me down on the bed, but I wince. “I’m sorry.” He immediately apologizes. I don’t give him time to dwell in his actions as I climb on top of him, straddling his thighs. Our lips connect passionately, and I allow my mind to wander as his lips press against my skin. The light bites and kisses against my neck make me involuntarily grip his hair. 

His hair is so soft, and I can’t help but wonder if Levi’s feels the same way. Even now, as his best friend’s head is buried into the crook of my neck, moans escaping his lips softly, I can’t help but think about him. My mind can’t help but wish that his grey eyes were staring into mine, his delicate and calloused fingers pressing against my back. I wanted it to be his moans in my neck, not Erwin’s. Yet, I force him from my thoughts, and try to focus on the magnificent man underneath me. It doesn’t take long for both of us to reach our climaxes, and as I’m coming down from mine, I force my lips closed to keep Levi’s name from spilling out. Even after the frustrating encounter with him, he still had control over me. 

I get dressed quickly, quicker than I usually do. My heartbeat hasn’t even calmed down yet, but I slink out of the room none-the-less. Erwin didn’t even have a chance to object and ask me to stay before I’m out the door. It takes no time to get back to the barracks, and once I do, I flop down on my bed in shame. Never before have I felt shame from a hook-up, but thinking about someone’s best friend while they’re inside of you… that was shameful. 

Even with the shame clouding my head, I can see Levi’s grey eyes radiating through the fog. I can feel his arm around my ribs, holding me close. Even his scent lingers on my clothes despite being with a man who uses a strong floral cologne. 

Although contradictory to my other feelings, hatred still boils in the pit of my stomach. He was so… so aggravating, and so condescending. He really thought that he could keep me from missions simply because I ran out of gas. Yea, it was a stupid mistake on my part, but it was HIS mission I was carrying out. It was his plan that drew me far into the forest. Even if he popped into my brain as I was clutching Erwin’s hair in pleasure, he was still a condescending and undeserving brat. I didn’t owe him anything, in fact, I deserved to show him he didn’t have control over me. I deserve to tell Levi Ackerman to fuck off. No, I will not sleep with him. Absolutely not, I will refuse to, even when those sultry, laid-back stormy grey eyes pop into my mind at inconvenient times of the day. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My anger and impatient nature finally gives in, and I try to go back to training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ello everyone. Thanks for the support once again. Please understand that I'm new to Ao3 so I'm still learning all of the posting settings. Anyways, enjoy the chapter.

The only thing I enjoyed while having this injury was the fact that I didn’t have to see Levi. It would’ve been hell if I had to hear him bark orders at me, his stormy grey eyes studying my every move. Passing the time through the days was incredibly hard, but I managed to do it, whether that be borrowing books from Armin, or heading into town, the next week passed by quickly. 

I knew that my injury wasn’t completely healed, but I still put on my gear, and headed to training. “Jean!” I shout, running slowly over to him and Sasha. 

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sight of my gear. “You back already?” He asks. 

I nod, adjusting my straps so they don’t press against my ribs. They were still incredibly bruised, and my skin was still a dark purple around them, but the pain had mostly dulled. Jean doesn’t question it any more, and Sasha offers me a snack. I refuse, not wanting to hurl it up on my first day back. As we reach the training area, Levi approaches us, his eyes trained on me. 

“Fully healed?” He asks. Again, I nod, not wanting anything in the tone of my voice to give away my lie. It was a stupid thing to do, go back to training before fully healing, but I miss it, and I couldn’t stand being bored any longer. Levi steps up to me, his scent of tea, metal and soap filling my nose. It made me remember how much I hate him, how I hate how gorgeous he looks when talking to me, and how incredibly condescending he is. 

“You sure?” He asks, his hand shooting out to stab my ribs. Luckily, I dodge it, but he goes and hits my ribs lightly, making my collapse. A hit that soft wouldn’t have hurt me on a normal day, but right now, fire shoots up my nerves, and I find it hard to breathe. “Liar. Get up.” He commands. 

I’m still coughing, gasping for air. Sasha leans down next to me, patting my back as I catch my breath. “What the hell!” I finally shout once air enters my diaphragm again, standing up to face Levi. 

“I’m not about to let an injured soldier ruin their body any more just because they’re bored.” He says calmly, though his eyes contain anger. 

“I’m fine.” I retort, even though we both know it’s a lie. 

“No, you’re not. You’re not training today.” Levi fights back. This was the most he argued with someone. Usually, he’d just hit them and force them into submission, but not now. It’s like he needed me to do it on my own. His eyes are still filled with anger, but there seems to be a small amount of concern in them. 

“Yes. I am.” Squaring my shoulders, I make direct eye contact with him, not backing down. 

He grabs my chin, and steps forward, keeping our eye contact. “No.” It was only one word, but there was so much authority behind it that it made my knees weak. Yet, part of me wants to fight back and see how far I can push him. I open my mouth to object, but his stare forces it closed again. My hands involuntarily reach up to push him away from me, but he blocks them, releasing my chin. He leans into my ear and whispers quietly so no one else can hear, “Don’t test your luck, cadet.” 

It sent shivers down my spine and made my stomach churn with anger. The rational part of me would have listened and walked away, but my feelings of rage take over. I push his hands away from me, and growl, “Don’t tell me what to do.” 

“Stop acting like a child.” He retorts, still standing his ground. 

“I’m the child? You want to talk childish? Why don’t we talk about how you took me off a mission because I wouldn’t have sex with you.” I shout. So much for not making a scene. 

“That’s not what happened.” 

“Really, Levi? Then what happened.” I can feel the tension in the atmosphere automatically increase after I use his first name, but I don’t waver. 

“Walk away.” Levi demands. There’s an urgency in his voice that I’ve never heard from him before. I don’t do as he says, not wanting to submit to him. “Walk away. Now.” He says again. He never repeated himself, and I know that if I deny him again there would be consequences. So, I finally give into the rational part of me, and walk away. Though, resentment still lays in the pit of my stomach. 

I passed the day in the cafeteria while reading books and doing anything and everything I could to entertain myself. Dinner time finally came, and I got to enjoy the only time I had with my friends. Connie was making everyone laugh as usual and Sasha kept trying to steal Jean’s food. It was the first time since the mission that I was able to let my guard down and truly enjoy being present with my friends. 

Though, it didn’t last long as the day passed quickly and the darkness taking over. On my way back to the barracks, someone grabs my wrist and pulls me into a room. I don’t recognize who it is at first, but when he turns on a light inside the room, his features become more prominent. I freeze after noticing that it’s Levi. 

“C-captain.” I stutter, unable to keep my composure. He’s not in his usual uniform, and is wearing regular pants with a neatly pressed button up black shirt. His hair is slightly damp, but still cleanly parted. 

“I didn’t take you off that mission because you won’t sleep with me.” Levi says. He says it quickly, his normal nonchalant monotone voice suddenly gone. I’m about to ask why, but he answers the question for me. “Maybe I did.” A blush starts to creep onto his face, and my heart starts to race. “Why won’t you…” He doesn’t complete his sentence, or meet my gaze. 

“I don’t want people saying I slept my way onto your squad.” 

“You slept with Erwin and Hanji.” 

“That’s different. I wouldn’t benefit from sleeping with them.” Suddenly, a blush finds itself on my cheeks as I remember the night I had with Erwin only a week ago. How I wished that it was Levi, and couldn’t stop thinking about him. He doesn’t say anything, so I break the silence. “Am I really a bad soldier?” 

He looks up, and meets my gaze, his blush still burning on his face. “You’re an idiot.” Once again, anger finds itself wrapping around my nerves, and I can’t help myself from stepping forward and going to slap him. Levi grabs my wrist with ease, and spins me around, pressing my back against the wall. “Idiot.” He whispers, his eyes searching my face. 

My breath catches in my throat, and the anger has somehow melted away. “I’m not.” It’s all I can say, but it makes his lips curl into a smirk. 

“You are.” He whispers, moving his other arm to my waist. “You’re the one who ran out of gas.” Levi’s hand gets closer to my ribs, and he presses down ever so gently, making me wince. “You’re the one who forced me to save you. Who… who forced me to…” He can’t finish his sentence as his eyes wander down to my lips. My heart is burning, aching, and screaming to kiss him, to feel his skin against mine, but I don’t. 

“I forced you…?” I ask, wanting to hear the end of his sentence. Levi’s cheeks flush again and he looks down his usual callous exterior melting away. He looks vulnerable, and soft. It’s something I’ve never seen before, and I doubt even Erwin has seen. “What did I force you to do?” I ask, bringing my free hand up to lift his chin. His steel blue eyes meet mine, and my heart seems to stall. He's so close that I can feel his breath, smell his scent of tea, soap and metal. Levi opens his mouth to say something, his eyes practically pleading for this to end. He obviously isn't great with emotions, but it's like he needs to say this. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finally reveals the words that were so hard to fall from his mouth and it shocks me, yet it gives me confidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING!   
> Thank you guys so much for the support, but I think I will be wrapping up this story at chapter 10. It's short, I know, but I don't want to stretch out the plot. Don't worry! It won't be the last of my writing since I might be posting some of the drafts I have for other fandom fanfics.   
> I'm thinking of writing an Armin or Hanji fanfic, but I'm leaning more towards Armin x OC. If you guys would be interested, let me know, and make sure to subscribe to my dashboard so you don't miss it when it releases.   
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Levi still hadn’t spit out the words he was trying to say. What a stuttering mess he is, blushing and avoiding my eyes. He’s so different from when he’s barking orders at new recruits. “Levi.” I whisper softly, taking his chin between my forefinger and thumb, gently forcing him to meet my gaze to remind him that I’m here. 

“You forced your way into my life.” He finally breathes out. My eyes widen a bit. That wasn’t what I was expecting, but none-the-less, it made a blush creep onto my face. Is he saying he has feelings for me? After a while of me not saying anything, he scoffs. “I’m saying I… I need you, brat.” His eyes connect with mine and for the first time it looks like he’s pleading with me. The tension that had been building over the past few weeks is finally coming undone. I need him, but I have enough self control not to pounce on him. He put me through hell on earth with extra cleaning and training. It was finally my turn to be in control. 

“Is that so?” I ask tauntingly, a smirk growing on my lips. I lean in, and whisper against his ear, “How do you need me… captain.” Levi shudders at his title. 

“I-I um… I-” Levi stammers. 

“You what, captain?” I ask tauntingly, needing to get an answer out of him. This was a dangerous game, but at this point, I didn’t care. If people couldn’t see how great of a soldier I am, then they were idiots. No way would I refuse this blushing, stammering, submissive version of Levi, especially not after he just confessed to me. 

“I need you. Now.” The last word had a bite, and a little bit of a whine behind it. 

I reach my hand up, moving my fingers below his chin. His heart is beating incredibly fast, and his face is still flushed. “Your heart’s going a little fast, captain. Are you alright?” Levi’s still silent, completely stunned. His eyes are still searching me, making me smirk. My eyes wander over to a wooden chair that sits only a few feet away from us. My eyes light up as an idea pops into my head. “Levi, darling. Take a seat.” I motion to the chair next to us. 

Levi obeys eagerly, sitting down and gazing up at me, watching every single movement I make. Gently and slowly, I straddle his legs, lifting his chin slightly to kiss him. Our lips finally meet and everything around me melts away as his lips move against mine. As we kiss, my hands wander his chest, my fingers fidgeting with the buttons. I pull back and our eyes connect. Despite the intimacy in the gaze, I feel a need to tease him. The feeling of having him completely under my control is intoxicating and I know this will be the only time I can fully dominate it. So, I decide to take advantage of this moment. 

“Is that a blush on your face, captain?” I tease. His face immediately turns even more red. He reaches up to cover his agape mouth, but I quickly grab his hand, intertwining my fingers with his. My mouth lowers to his ear and I breathe out, “Don’t dare cover it.” I nip at his earlobe slightly, causing a slight whimper to escape his mouth. “It’s cute.” 

Levi’s hand grips mine and I chuckle lightly against his ear, forcing a shudder from his body. Lazily, I plant soft kisses on his neck. Every so often a soft moan will leave his mouth or he’ll grip my hand as I work on a sweet spot. Sitting on his lap made his ever growing arousal extremely apparent. Teasingly, I whisper against his skin, “Horny already, virgin?” Levi tenses and I can feel the blush radiating from his mess. It may have been a little much to poke fun at his lack of experience, but seeing his reaction is rewarding. Needing more authority, I tease him even more. “You sure you’re alright with this? It is your first time.” 

Levi grabs my head, and forces me to look at him. “Stop talking.” He commands. Well, it was less of a command and more of a plea. I oblige, connecting my lips with his. As our lips move against each other’s and I find my hands unbuttoning his shirt, needing his skin against mine. When I finally strip it off, I pull back, staring at the glory that is his body from years of training. His face is still burning with a blush, but he seems to be relaxing and coming out of his shell slightly. 

Slowly, I start to unbutton my shirt, never breaking eye contact. When I finish and toss the shirt to the side, his eyes land on my injury. It’s still incredibly bruised and concern fills his eyes once more. “Are you… alright to do this?” He asks hesitantly. I keep myself from smiling and nod. I get off his lap to remove my pants and he does the same. I stand there, half naked watching as he runs his hands through his hair nervously. 

I walk towards him and take his hand. Levi follows me as I lead him to the bed. Once he gets situated, I sit on his lap, knowing that I’ll need to take the reins on this. It really is nice having authority over him for once. My lips meet his once more. This time the kiss is soft, savoring the moment. Though, it starts to heat up quickly, the passion growing between both of us as I grip his shoulders and grind against his lap. “Fuck.” He murmurs into my mouth. It makes me smirk and I reach down to touch his lap teasingly. When my hand sneaks under his briefs I feel him shudder and watch as his hands grip the sheets out of pleasure. 

“Feel good?” I whisper in his ear, slowly stroking upwards. He just nods, biting his lip to keep the moans from spilling out. “Let me hear you.” I whisper against his ear. Without another thought, he obeys, letting a broken cry exit his lips. “Good boy.” I whisper, still letting my hand pleasure him as I work at his neck with kisses. 

As time goes on, I tease him more, loving the way his thighs shake in anticipation, but when he grabs my neck and barks an order, I have no trouble obliging. “Ride me.” It makes me smirk and I oblige, lowering myself onto him. It’s a bit of a stretch and I need a moment to adjust, but Levi bucks his hips instinctively, making me yelp in response. 

“Levi.” I groan his name involuntarily. It makes him smirk for the first time during this encounter. He obviously likes me being in control since he could dominate me without another thought. Yet, he still likes watching me take control. 

Pleasure shoots through my body as he bucks his hips again, and a cry leaves my mouth. He covers it with his hand, his eyes suddenly dark with a hint of playful energy in them. “Quiet.” He orders. I nod, and continue to grind my hips against his. Levi removes his hand from my mouth to grab onto my hips as I move. His nails dig into the flesh on my hips, gripping them so hard that I’m positive there will be marks. His eyes are squinted shut with pleasure and he buries his head deep into the crook of my neck, my name spilling out of his lips while being muffled by my own skin. This is what I wanted for so long, all the anger, all the hatred, every emotion I’d ever felt for him comes crashing down in one wave of pleasure. Levi lets out one final broken cry of my name before letting himself flop onto the bed. 

“Shit.” He pants, his chest rising and falling as I roll off of him. I chuckle and he looks over at me. 

“Not bad, Ackerman.” I say with a cocky smirk. Levi’s lips curl into a smile, a genuine smile, one I had never seen, one that made my heart stop. My cheeks heat up and I realize that I no longer had control over him. No, he was back in control, his steel blue eyes completely dominating me with one glance. 

He rolls onto his side to face me. Levi leans in and plants a soft kiss on my lips. It’s a sweet kiss, not like the ones of passion we had just shared. It’s intimate, like the strand of tension between us that had snapped has been mended into a new string. That’s terrifying. I sit up and push him off, swinging my bare legs off the side of the bed, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back onto the bed. “Don’t run.” 

My breath hitches. How could he say it so simply? It’s not like this could be anything more than a one night stand, no matter my feelings. He tugs me close into an embrace and whispers the words again. “Don’t run.” This time he adds another word as he hugs me close to his chest, the same way he did when he saved me from the titan’s grasp. “Stay.” 

All of my fears suddenly melt away and I can’t do anything but clutch his biceps, my eyes wide as he strokes idle circles on my back. This is the most intimate moment I’ve ever held with a person, and I can’t believe it’s Levi Ackerman. I can’t believe the person who can make me feel safe is the cocky son of a bitch that made my life a living hell. Despite my disbelief, I let myself fall captive to his embrace, our limbs tangled as we fall asleep. I just broke the one rule I had: don’t stay overnight. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an intense night of emotions, Levi wakes in a sweat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter :(   
> Thank you all so incredibly much for your support. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for every single one of you who read this to the end.   
> This won't be the end of my writing. Armin x OC is definitely coming, and maybe sometime in the future I'll post another Levi fanfic, though it'll probably be an OC. Subscribe to my dashboard if you'd like to see those sometime in the near future. Writing has always been a passion of mine, but I've never gotten this great of support from a fandom.   
> Again, thank you all so much. Now please enjoy the last chapter of this fanfiction. I love all you Levi simps :)

My eyes snap open at the sudden loss of contact on my skin. My mind is still muddled from the sleep, not fully awake. My eyes can barely adjust to the dim moonlight that pushes its way past the curtains. Though, they finally focus on a shadow on the bed. The moonlight illuminates the shadow. Levi is panting and running his hands through his hair frantically. It seems he hasn’t noticed my presence yet, but when I place my hand on his arm gently he looks up. “Sorry.” He mutters, sweat dripping from his brow. I’m not sure what he’s apologizing for. The Levi I knew up until now would never have apologized, especially not to someone as disrespectful and witty as me. Though, the Levi I knew, I would have never imagined waking up in a cold sweat in the depths of the night. 

“You alright?” I ask gently, shifting closer to him. He just nods and takes a deep breath, his eyes still filled with terror from what I assume was a nightmare. He looks so vulnerable and so much different than he does during training. The stormy grey eyes that I had learned could make my heart stop are filled with so many different emotions. Sadness, fear, anger, confusion and so many more that I can’t even begin to unravel. “Bad dream?” I inquire cautiously, watching his face to make sure I don’t overstep my bounds. 

Levi nods, raising his steel blue eyes to mine. “Sorry for waking you.” He croaks, his voice till slightly scratchy from his sleep. 

I shake my head in dismissal of the comment. We all get them, the dreams. Some of us more than others. It never occurred to me that Levi would too. He always seemed so strong, so apathetic. I had learned to block them out. With the impending doom that awaited each of us every day, nightmares were too minor to dwell on. What good could life be if we pondered on the existence of risk and death? 

“What about?” I ask, hoping that he can let down his guard just enough to share his fears with me. Even though I rarely had nightmares, it didn’t make his fears any less valid. Keeping up a cold exterior must be so exhausting that his fears end up manifesting in his dreams. Vulnerability was never something I valued, but something about sharing an emotionally intimate and vulnerable moment with Levi is incredibly appealing. 

“My soldiers.” His voice is barely audible as he utters the words. I run my fingers carefully over his arm to comfort him. His shoulders start to relax slightly and he removes his hands from his hair, though the overwhelming amount of emotions still dwell in his eyes. Levi continues talking, his deep voice still sleep-filled. Despite just being woken up, his words and tone are still silky smooth. “I never get used to seeing them die.” His voice is smooth, but pained and so much different from his normal monotone voice. Levi clearly isn’t the callous and uncaring man he painted himself as. Seeing him in this moment is enough for me to know that keeping his guard up is incredibly hard. Levi Ackerman is not heartless, in fact, he is quite caring. 

He raises his eyes to meet mine and his breath audibly hitches for a moment. The connections between us seems to strengthen the more he allows himself to be vulnerable. I never thought I’d find myself falling into these steel blue eyes, the same eyes that caused me so much hardship on a daily basis. 

Levi finally chokes out another sentence slowly. “Seeing you in the grasp of the titan… I never want to feel like that again.” 

His words make a blush rise on my cheeks. How was I supposed to respond to that? This normally callous man is completely vulnerable with me, telling me that he was scared of losing me. Levi Ackerman truly cared for his soldiers, but he cared for me as more than his soldier. He cared about me in a way that is so unique. My captain is sitting here, sharing a moment so intimate and vulnerable that it scares me. “I won’t leave.” I whisper. It wasn’t exactly something I could promise, especially with the amount of missions I went on. Yet, I can’t help assuring him that I’ll be here for him. 

His eyes soften slightly, making my heart throb. The look he’s giving me right now, his messily parted hair, the soft expression on his face; it made me want to throw away my rule about relationships. What was the point of fighting for humanity if I couldn’t share moments like this with Levi? What was the point of anything if I couldn’t get him to look at me like that day and night for as long as I could? Levi looks almost grateful for my words, like they were just what he needed to hear. 

I find myself leaning in and pressing my lips against his. Levi reaches up to cup my face, slowly rubbing his thumb over my cheek. There was a reason everyone closed their eyes while kissing: it made everything disappear. This kiss made everything around me blurr until the only thing I could feel, hear or smell was Levi. Tea, soap and metal, a scent I never thought I’d find endearing. His soft lips moving against mine makes my heart leap in a way I never imagined. Even the soft sound of our lips lightly pulling away from each other is a sound I want to bask in until death pulls me cruelly from this world. 

Levi is the only thing I want. His steel blue eyes are ingrained in my brain every waking moment, the sound of his voice no longer repulses me and causes anger, it eases me. How all of this could change in simply one night, I have no idea. Yet, it happened. It changed, a bond between us was formed so quickly and I would do anything to preserve it. This vulnerability did not come easy to either of us, yet it was magnetic for both of us and we couldn’t stop. We couldn’t stop from being drawn to one another.

When we finally pull away from each other, he rests his forehead against mine and I can’t help but breathe out a sigh of relief. I could breathe… I felt like I could truly breathe for the first time in this hateful world. All the anger I carried for those beasts of titans, all the resentment I had for Levi, it all melted away as his breathing slowed. His nightmare and fears leave his eyes and I can’t help but think I had something to do with comforting him. Putting him at ease, even if it’s only for a short moment, is so incredibly satisfying. 

I know he feels it too, this bond between us. How could he not feel it? How could he not feel the world around us begin to calm as we sit there, listening to each other's movements, studying the way the other breathes. The slight silence of the night, the soft moonlight that seeps through the curtains and the sound of Levi’s breathing creates a tranquility that I’d never experienced before.“Feel better?” I inquire quietly. 

Levi opens his eyes, connecting with my gaze. He nods silently before leaning in and kissing me. Intimate. This intimacy is not one I could have thought of weeks ago. He’s not a perfect kisser, but none-the-less, it’s the best kiss I’ve ever shared. It’s so sweet, so soft, yet so desperate and begging. It’s like he’s begging for this not to end. I beg back, letting my lips pull against his, savoring every single moment, every single breath. If there was one thing this apocalyptic world had taught me, it was that I had to savor moments like this. 

It could all end in a blink of an eye. Levi knew that too. If he didn’t, there would be no explanation for why he felt terror when I was in the titan’s grasp. Was his heart beating as fast in that moment as mine is now? I wonder if his movements when dispensing his ODM gear were as panicked as mine now. He may have panicked seeing me in the grasp of the titan, but I’m panicking now, unable to comprehend the thought of losing him. Is this what Connie felt when he looked at Sasha? The euphoria? The utter dread of losing the one important bond in your life? Was this… is this attachment something that could leave as soon as it came? 

Levi pulls back from the kiss gently. “Don’t run. Stay.” He breathes out the words slowly and hesitantly. It’s almost as if he could hear my thoughts and fears. It’s like he knew that this intimacy was the most terrifying thing in the world, even more terrifying than the titans. How could something this perfect, this innocent form so quickly and so subtly? Yet, despite my panicked thoughts, Levi’s gaze relieves my terrors, allowing me to let my body relax. 

My breath hitches and I reach up to cup his face sweetly. Every instinct in my body told me to get up and head out of this room like I did after every hook-up. Yet, I know that this isn’t just a hook-up. No, this is something greater, something much better. I needed Levi and he needed me. This bond, even if it only lasted a short while, is completely worth it. It’s worth holding onto, worth savoring, worth risking everything in my life. My reputation meant nothing compared to this tranquility I felt just by being in Levi’s presence. I need his voice, I need his eyes, I need his heartbeat, his breath, his everything to myself. Our bond, we need it. 

“I’m not leaving.” I finally whisper in response to his plea. Our lips connect once more, the world around us melting until our senses can only acknowledge each other and the bond between us. 


End file.
